Matthew 19:10-11….Ready

Matthew 19:10-11….Ready

19:10 The disciples (Possibly said by Peter, being the spokesmen of the Twelve, to whom all agreed) said to him, “If  this is the situation between a husband and a wife, it is better not to marry.  (Possibly said sarcastically, prejudicially. Some see the disciples negative reply as favoring a more liberal view that gave them a whole lot more flexibility to get out of a marriage.) 11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word but only those to whom it has been given.  (For Complete Expository See Book)

Extended Sermons

“Warns against getting swept up in the culture that says in order to be truly happy and complete you must be married.” → Many say that to be truly complete you need to be married and have children. But that is not so. Jesus wasn’t married and He was the most complete person that ever lived. The Apostle Paul wasn’t married and yet God used him powerfully, probably more than any other person in the history of the church! There have been many people who have been single that God has used in powerful and mighty ways for His glory! While singleness offers unique opportunities for personal growth and devotion, it also presents distinct challenges. One of the primary difficulties is finding contentment during periods of loneliness. The singleness of remaining pure can be a challenge, especially in a culture that encourages promiscuity, and devalues sexual purity. This season may be marked by feelings of isolation, tempting you to seek fulfillment in companionship. Additionally, social pressure can weigh heavily on those who are single. Expectations from family, friends, or the broader community may influence decisions, often creating a sense of urgency or inadequacy.  In the midst of these external expectations, it is crucial to pause and reflect on our motivations for staying single or getting married. If you’re single today and think, if only I get married it’s going to make all my problems go away. Like marriage is some sort of “end-all, be-all”.  So many people think that some sort of life change is going  to bring them happiness. They think if I just get married or in a relationship, I would be happy. That’s not where you’re going to find a perpetual and true source of happiness. Rather the source of true joy, fulfillment, and contentment is found in a relationship with Jesus, not in marital status or any human relationship. Don’t buy into the LIE of the enemy that wants to discourage you or somehow wants to make you feel inadequate or incomplete. Don’t believe it, you are already complete in Christ Jesus.

“Teaches instead of playing matchmaker to our single friends, we’re to respect and support their choice to stay single for God .” → It is important not to pressure or nudge those whom God has uniquely called to a life of singleness, recognizing that their calling is a sacred gift designed for deeper devotion and service to the Lord. A person may not be in the right mindset for dating or marriage, focusing on other areas of their life like career, school, or ministry.  Pressuring or expecting everyone to pursue marriage overlooks the specific grace and fulfillment God grants to those who are set apart for singleness; instead, we should honor and support their commitment, trusting that God’s purposes are being beautifully worked out in their lives as they walk in obedience to His distinct calling for them.

“Teaches those not gifted with the grace of singleness are better off getting married than to burn with uncontrolled passions and desires.”→ In other words, not everyone is called to a life of singleness, and for those who do not possess this particular gift or measure of grace, it is both wise and honorable to pursue marriage rather than struggle continually against sinful desires without a righteous outlet for it. God understands our human limitations, and His design for marriage provides a holy context for intimacy and companionship, safeguarding us from the dangers of unchecked passions and allowing us to flourish within the boundaries He has set. Rather than viewing marriage as a concession to weakness, we should see it as a provision of God’s wisdom and care, intended to support and bless those who are not called to remain single, and to encourage each person to walk faithfully in the role God has prepared for them—whether in singleness or in marriage—trusting that both are equally valuable and purposeful in His kingdom.

“Teaches whatever we’ve been called to we’re to receive it whole heartedly with all the obligations and sacrifices it brings.” → Whether one’s calling is to serve God through singleness or through marriage, the focus should remain on fulfilling that role faithfully and without reservation, trusting that God provides the grace and strength needed for obedience. This perspective helps believers understand that true fulfillment is found not in the status itself, but in embracing God’s will with a willing spirit and a commitment to honor Him, regardless of the sacrifices involved.

Additional Notes & applications

Warns against seeing Christ’ commands as too burdensome or too grueling to keep.

Warns against only looking to Jesus for exit strategies in getting out of the things we don’t like or think too harsh.

Warns against the trap of seeing other marriages and thinking if that’s what it’s all about I don’t want it.

Warns to unnecessary delay or avoid marriage without the gift of celibacy is a sin.

Warns against looking to our own convenience and what is advantageous for ourselves. That our own happiness is all that matters.

Illustrates how the teachings of Jesus are not just to be met with shock and amazement, there to be received, accepted, and believed.

Calls for avoiding paths we’re not spiritual gifted to take on or prepared to walk.-(v. 11)

Calls for accepting the Sovereignty of God in all things regardless of what our feelings, emotions, or circumstances may say.- (V. 11)

Teaches how we just don’t take what Jesus says as good advice, we follow it and obey it. –(V. 11)

Notice the disciples opinion that is better not to marry is incomplete opposition to Jesus’ earlier teachings in verses 1-9. In this statement it also shows the grave error in how focused they are on themselves.  Being men, they take the man’s side  “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry”. Notice there’s no regard for the wife, no regard for the Lord’s purpose in marriage, no regard for what the Lord does in marriage, no regard for God’s work in creation, populated the earth with children. No regard for all those things, it’s just better not to marry for the man. You have to ask, did they just miss everything Jesus just taught them? We have to assume they must have got it, it’s just not something they wanted hear. Did they not know Genesis 2 verse 18 where God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”.  Did they not know Proverbs 18 verse 22 which tells us “He who finds a good wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” After all of that they still thought it was better to forgo God’s blessing in marriage because it would be too binding. They saw this one little thing as too much of an enslavement over all the other blessings that comes from marriage. The blessings of oneness, companionship, friendship, acceptance. The mutual support, the intimacy, the children, the shared purposes, belief’s, etc.  Not to mention the financial advantages, health improvements, legal rights (like hospital visitation), and a structured, family stability for raising children. The spiritual growth in unity, patience, kindness, and authenticity along the way. Not only that but the disciples saying it it is better not to marry, weren’t thinking of all the sin it can lead to, the fornication, the sexual immoralities that go with it.

Notice after the disciples say “It’s better not to marry”. One might assume that Jesus would correct the disciples or clarify His statement if they had misunderstood Him. You might expect Him to say, “Wait a minute, you’re misunderstanding me,” or, “No, that’s not what I meant.” However, Jesus did not respond this way. Instead, He affirmed their understanding and agreed with them, indicating that their interpretation was correct. By not correcting the disciples, He highlights the importance of accepting God’s unique call on each person’s life, whether to marriage or singleness, and invites further reflection on the grace required to walk faithfully in whichever role God assigns. This moment underscores the value of listening to Christ’s teachings with openness, recognizing that His wisdom applies differently depending on individual circumstances, and that true obedience involves embracing God’s purposes—even when they challenge our expectations or cultural norms.

Note: Since Jesus’ base of operations was the home of Peter and his mother in-law. You have to wonder what Peter’s wife and mother-in-law would have thought about such a remark that “it’s better not to marry.” You can imagine them saying “Oh really”!

Note: One may wonder where did the Pharisees go, they were the ones trying to trap Jesus by asking the question “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”-(19:3) And no poof their gone. Maybe the trap failed thereby silencing and sidelining them. Causing them to move on looking for other opportunities to trap Jesus. Or maybe they got the answer they expected.

SIGNS THAT GOD MAY BE CALLING YOU TO A LIFE OF SINGLNESS

• Do you find yourself happy and content in living a single life?

• Do you have self-control over your sexual passions and need for sex?

• Do feel no urgency in getting married and having a family?

• Do you have a strong desire for ministry and serving God?

• Do find yourself wanting to live a holy and pure life for God?

• Do you find contentment in solitude without the need for constant companionship?